The last thing you need to know is that some conflict behaviors are what I call “active,” where the conflicting parties are talking. They say what they think. They argue. But this does not happen in every case. Sometimes the conflict is not overt, but rather hidden. In other words, conflict is not always verbal. It can be silent but still produce unhelpful results.
It’s inevitable that you’ll encounter conflict on your team at some point. Why? Because by having different values, beliefs, fears, and experiences, we develop diverse perspectives on the team’s problems, goals, plans…and our teammates. Unfortunately, conflict can cause division and poor results.
So how can you spot impending conflict before it escalates and what can you do to address it? This is what we will discuss in this article.
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Conflict detection
If you want to recognize and deal with conflict early, it helps to know where it comes from and what it looks like. You will notice three types of conflicts that arise within work teams:
- Task conflicts: Conflicts either about “what,” the goal, goal(s) or “how,” the practical steps toward the goal.
- Relationship conflicts: Conflicts that arise when someone sees something in another person – or thinks they see something – that they don’t like. Whatever the reason, we usually end up with negative judgments about the other person’s abilities, values, motivations, or personality. It’s not about the mission; This seems personal. It is personal – one person does not like the other and the feeling is mutual.
- Power struggles: General disputes over members’ authority to make decisions (questions “Who’s in charge here?” or “Who has more power here?”) or more specific disputes over who should do what in completing a task (questions “How should we divide Responsibilities?” or “Who should take on what role?”).
While it is true to say that there are three distinct sources of conflict that have entered the team, they are not separate. We cannot package it into three separate boxes because a conflict that starts from one source can emerge as another type – or transform into another. So, yes, you will notice minor power struggles, relationships, or tasks, but one form can lead to the other, or manifest as the other. For example:
- Either power or relationship struggles can lead to task conflict. In fact, what appears to be a task struggle could be a relationship or power struggle in disguise; The mission is merely the ground, the stage, for the basic conflict.
- If a team frequently handles task conflict poorly, it can lead to relationship or power struggles.
- You can also observe task conflicts that reveal hidden power struggles.
- Finally, but not surprisingly, power struggles can lead to conflict in relationships.
The last thing you need to know is that some conflict behaviors are what I call “active,” where the conflicting parties are talking. They say what they think. They argue. But this does not happen in every case. Sometimes the conflict is not overt, but rather hidden. In other words, conflict is not always verbal. It can be silent but still produce unhelpful results.
What does this mean for the team leader?
This means that team leaders have to listen to what people are saying while monitoring and sensing what is not being said through the body language of their teammates.
I’m generalizing, but in my experience the more experienced the team, the more subtle and less obvious the conflict. So, pay attention to these signs:
- Awkward silence.
- Avoid verbal conflict when the atmosphere in the room is tense.
- Team members approached leaders after meetings with arguments they could and should have raised during the meeting, but did not, because they wanted to avoid the discomfort of overt conflict.
- Members secretly complain to the leader’s boss about the team’s difficulties while causing most of the conflicts.
How to deal with conflict within the team: two stages
With the foundations laid, let’s get into the practicalities. I will present it in two parts.
First, we’ll discuss what I call the “narrowing” strategy to minimize the problem, and then we’ll look at building skills to deal with task conflict.
The first stage: strategy for dealing with conflict
Research shows that relationship or power conflicts are usually more destructive than task conflicts. In fact, task conflict can help team creativity and productivity. So, if you can narrow your conflicts down to task-type conflicts, you will make life easier for yourselves.
Therefore, I suggest that you first try to “design” or at least reduce relationship or power conflicts by applying these seven tips, and only then focus on becoming skilled at handling task conflict. This narrowing strategy means implementing these seven tips before building your team’s skill in dealing with task conflict:
| A “narrowing” strategy to avoid conflict | Avoidable consequences |
|---|---|
| Set the first goal for your team to gain a sense of unity and convergence of effort and then keep it in mind. | Relationships conflict |
| Make sure you select your team members with an eye toward a combination of talents, mindsets, and behaviors. Then make sure everyone feels like they have a value-added role, which means there will be less frustration. | Power struggle |
| Discuss and agree on how your team makes decisions – a clear way to eliminate conflicts before they start. Power struggle | Power struggle |
| Agree and live your team’s ethics and standards, which means useful standards of behavior emerge. | Relationships struggle + power struggle |
| Practice basic communication skills such as listening, asking open-ended questions, providing feedback, and spotting unexamined assumptions to eliminate conflict arising from clumsy behavior. | Relationships conflict |
| Hire a coach to help you build confidence in your team. The more trust you have in the team, the less unhelpful conflict you will notice. | Relationships conflict |
| Team leaders can help quarreling teammates by taking relationship conflicts off-line and acting as a mediator. Or if a team member is clearly the main source of conflict, the leader can take them aside, dig out what’s going on beneath the surface and find a way to agree to change the situation or behavior. Relationships conflict | Relationships conflict |
By applying these tips, preferably in this sequence, you should reduce the likelihood of time-consuming power struggles and toxic relationships, allowing you to focus on building your team’s skill in handling task conflict. This is what we will move on to next.
The second stage: A path towards a plan for dealing with task conflict
Assuming your team has implemented the preventive strategy I just described, I suggest you follow these seven steps in dealing with task conflict:
- Reframe task conflict by discussing how it typically manifests itself behaviorally, what is good about it and what happens if it is not handled well.
- Learn about Thomas and Kilman’s five styles of dealing with conflict and the different intentions and mindsets behind them. You can find materials online to help you.
- Complete Thomas and Kelman’s TKI Conflict Style Tool to learn your teammates’ preferred ways of dealing with conflict. Then understand when each person’s preferred approach helps, when it doesn’t, and what to watch for. (Each style has its pros and cons.)
- See how individual conflict-handling styles combine to reveal the overall team conflict pattern. There are only three possible shapes. Once you know which format your team prefers, discuss its advantages and disadvantages.
- Understand the three common issues arising from these different styles and agree which ones impact your team the most.
- Armed with your knowledge and greater self-awareness, agree on simple guidelines for team conflict.
- Practice using what you’ve learned and agreed on live topics.
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